oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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