now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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