i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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