Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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