About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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