Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
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You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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