Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize