My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
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well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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