how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize