If i come over, it means nothing
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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