Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You can't just leave with hair like that
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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