I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
if only i could text you this smell
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize