What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize