i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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