apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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