I'm laying in your front yard are you home
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize