toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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