the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
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My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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