If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize