sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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