you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
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I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
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