I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize