just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize