M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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