He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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