The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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