i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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