Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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