So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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