I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize