omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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