Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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