By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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