well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
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I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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