She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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