well I can't set my house on fire every night
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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