Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'

(1-904): View more from Florida

wtf?

(904): View more from Florida

It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'

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(904): Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum' (1-904): wtf? (904): It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend' http://tfl.nu/kgyk

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.

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(484): drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart. http://tfl.nu/h0kh

Replies (14) Good night (1015) Bad night (2690) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.

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(908): Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder. http://tfl.nu/vsy5

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(914): View more from New York

You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.

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(914): You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property. http://tfl.nu/9au5

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week

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(551): I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week http://tfl.nu/k48u

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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(651): I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me http://tfl.nu/y5sm

Replies (7) Good night (1163) Bad night (1454) Order T-Shirt
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.

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(870): Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good. http://tfl.nu/i8bn

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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(203): Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home http://tfl.nu/rxky

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore

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(910): He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore http://tfl.nu/tias

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(805): View more from California

How much is that going to cost?

(1-805): View more from California

A lot of beer.

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(805): How much is that going to cost? (1-805): A lot of beer. http://tfl.nu/syqn

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.

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(919): I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping. http://tfl.nu/iyfp

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.

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(843): Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/zg5q

Replies (5) Good night (1146) Bad night (335)
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(805): View more from California

If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that

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(805): If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that http://tfl.nu/xc7d

Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (1109)
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(281): View more from Texas

I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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(281): I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car. http://tfl.nu/5ru6

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(435): View more from Utah

Thanks for fucking me in last night

(435): View more from Utah

TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT

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(435): Thanks for fucking me in last night (435): TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT http://tfl.nu/3wzm

Replies (10) Good night (1348) Bad night (155)

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