yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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