Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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