my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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