Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am puke
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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