What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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