Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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