you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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