:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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