Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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