I wanna bring you to show and tell
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
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I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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