Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize