The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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