I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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